The dangerous Christian marriage you should avoid

By Njoku SaintJerry A

The dangerous Christian marriage is a relationship build on lies and deception, a marriage organized by doctrinal practices for men and women gloating in self-deceit of struggling to suppress impulses that are naturally created to manifest at the attraction of the opposite sex

My brother had this wonderful church woman for a wife. “She is a serious Christian and very zealous with her faith.” He had told me in his excitement. “How do you measure her zealousness and seriousness for a Christian” I asked him. And my brother regaled me; how the lady is a good prayer warrior, she doesn’t like jewelries, do not wear any adornments and always covered herself appropriately from head to toe like the biblical women etc.”

After 6 months I visited him in his mini apartment somewhere in the heart of Lagos, He wasn’t in his boisterous self, So I asked him, “how is your wife, our good sister” He looked through the corner and screamed a name, a young woman emerged from the room, bright skinned and fully endowed.
After we exchanged greetings, she excused us and I asked my brother; “Senior, what happened, this is not the sister we married recently.”
He pouted; looked at me with a scorn and blurted’ “Which your sister, that devil? In fact, I am celebrating myself as you see me here today.” “I thank God for delivering me from that Satan in church clothes., All that head-tie and covering from head to toe, all that shakarabababa, kurikuria’ she used to do in the name of prayer or is it speaking in tongues are all fake” As a matter of fact, I have stopped going to that church, those people deceived me with all those their nonsense marriage committee. That lady you see just now is my new wife, I am very happy and fulfilled now.”  

Some other marriages had lasted just 2 hours – Driving back home from the Church after wedding reception, Husband had asked the wife to make use of her battery charger and wife objected, husband insisted and pleaded on deaf ears until the young man got infuriated and threatened to throw the woman out of his house if she is coming with this kind of character. On reaching home, the wife picks up the Marriage certificate and reminded the man that this marriage ‘made in church’ is bound by the law of no divorce. The man exclaimed; “How did I on my own volition walk into this kind of burning hell” at the peak of the crisis, he summoned courage and walked out of the marriage.

Hearing from God on marriage; the deception and the Committee
There have been a trend among young church goers whenever the intention of marriage begin to cross their thoughts referred to as; “Hearing from God” about marriage proposals and another group referred to as; Marriage Committee set up by the Church board to coordinate upcoming marriages and make sure the intending husband and wife comply to the church doctrinal principles. Sometimes rules and regulations of the marriage committee is held supreme and young people are bounded by these rules so much that entire arrangement leading to man and woman settling down together in marriage is at the discretion of the board.

In a marriage counseling session for troubled married couples, virtually all 80% of attendants mentioned God told them to marry sister Blessings and brother Wiseman, some of the marriage had lasted just 2 months until reality was set in and the couple have to resume a journey of psychological trauma that leads some to a complete loss of faith in the same God that was pronounced the arrangee of the marriage.

Sometimes I am amazed how the young man only hear from God telling him to marry a certain blonde young lady and the hearing stops abruptly after he had walked into a marriage with the lady of his fantasy.
Many of the young men had come into the marriage institution with this baggage of deception of hearing and seeing God select a wife of their fancy until that infatuation on the fine round breast and ballooned buttock began to wane.

Some doctrinal practices had advocated against expressing any sensual feelings, no physical contact except under scrutiny of the marriage committee members, no visiting, all discussion between intending couples must be done in church

Women has been stoned to death because the husband accused her of being responsible to his predicament, Husband has murdered wife in cold blood because he believes, that is the only impediment to his success.  Men has ended up in psychiatry homes because of that beautiful lady he had fall in head over heels with and never bothered to take a closer look because in his mind and according to the prophecy from one Prophet, God said; “You will be my wife” – There is no doubt almighty God may indeed still speak to some people but that’s on rare occasions and marriage is the least of them.

The Deception and the Committee
Of a truth, Marriage is a sacred institution and must be guided by rules and regulation However, the making of marriage is a mix of many factors; physical, sensual, spiritual, cultural and psychological feelings None is excluded from the other.

 Where the Christian marriage regulators shun all 5ves and depend solely on spiritual principles, the chances of intending couples hitting the rock in due course is very high when they face realities of physical meeting that is bound to last a life time.
Some doctrinal practices had advocated against expressing any sensual feelings, no physical contact except under scrutiny of the marriage committee members, no visiting, all discussion between intending couples must be done in church in the presence of everybody.

The only moment the man look beyond these attributes is when he is able to confront all that faculty of feelings by himself alone and not under any secondary influence of physical attributes and some doctrinal boundaries. If he pretends to be spiritual, he cannot pretend over his own feelings and psychological positioning

Come to think of it; first signs of attraction of a woman to a man is her physical attributes – some tall women possess that sizeable bum and little of the breast while some not so tall women may possess all front and back.
These physical attributes, evokes man’s senses of feelings until it begin to translate into psychological sensations, Your brain begin to rattle, you begin to imagine taking this woman home to know her better and build some intimacy, you begin to fantasize keeping her all for yourself for a lifetime but on one condition – marriage

The only moment the man look beyond these attributes is when he is able to confront all that faculty of feelings by himself alone and not under any secondary influence of physical attributes and some doctrinal boundaries. If he pretends to be spiritual, he cannot pretend over his own feelings and psychological positioning

The Church should not play this doctrine of ‘programmer and remote control’ on two separate individuals with a sense of affection ruled by impulse. Impulse is psychological, the outcome is always multi-faceted and cannot be suppressed and that is what the Marriage Committee in most instances had merely succeeded doing

Where you avoid one, you cannot avoid the other neither can you suppress any of the 5ves, If you like the woman, you must take her out to unknown location and let your senses score her, same applies to the woman, she must visit your residence and you must visit hers, the doctrine of sex is ruled on impulse – nobody can hold a remote control on anyone on that.

This is where the deception in marriages and relationship has been heightened among the Christian made marriages.
Only the man or the woman can tell himself or herself the truth about their feelings when they meet in private and if they chose to lie about these meetings and deceive their Church and the marriage committee on their impulses then they will certainly face the consequences at the right time. Not even the Church can control the consequences.

The journey to those relationship you call hell or heaven is a very personal issue and it begins with the kind of marriage you walk yourself into. You’re never a complete man until you make this rare decision in marriage then your life begins to shape either to the heavens or to the hell!
The Church should not play this doctrine of ‘programmer and remote control’ on two separate individuals with a sense of affection ruled by impulse. Impulse is psychological, the outcome is always multi-faceted and cannot be suppressed and that is what the Marriage Committee in most instances had merely succeeded doing, to suppress these impulses whose outcome begin to manifest immediately the individuals come together to live forever after.

The dangerous Christian marriage is a relationship build on lies and deception, a marriage organized by doctrinal practices for men and women gloating in self-deceit of struggling to suppress impulses that are naturally created to manifest at the attraction of the opposite sex

They hide under strict doctrinal principle – you cannot meet nor court the woman beyond church marriage committee boundaries, the marriage committee will have to coordinate everything including visiting. The fear of the doctrinal boundaries is honored than the fear of God and respect to cultural values, then you must not divorce the devil from the hell you’ve brought upon yourself if by happenstance you got a baggage beyond what you have bargained for.

Women in marriage has been accused of Witcrafty for no cause other than walking into a deception, The young pastors seeking prosperity and good living through religion has brought in fuel and match sticks to the marriage institution by taking advantage of these suppressed impulse to prophesy lies and join wrong couples in marriages.
I have met these face painting ladies adorn a badge of a man, and I asked; my good sister, who is in the badge please, and she responded with a smirk; “Oh its my Prophet” a wonderful man, you need to meet him.”

If you’re married and your wife suddenly begin to take interest in a particular man of prophecy as her idol – best act is to cut that relationship between her and the prophet. You will be in real time psychological trauma condoning such religious devotion to another fine face bleaching man

Marriage is sacred, Marriage is secular
You cannot separate both, if you like a girl in your church, in your community, go right ahead and tell her, if you are ready for marriage and want to settle with a lady you fancy so much and her characters thrills you, go ahead and approach her for marriage. Do not attach any divinity to this first-time attraction because it’s only natural.
Anybody walking up to you with the statement “God said, you are my wife” is a deceiver. The faculty of attractions has been deposited in all men not in God – even the Bible asked; ‘What did God see in men that he show them so much love all days despite their heart is desperately wicked” God do not work on attraction between a man and woman, even where it applies its on a rare occasion of ratio 2% to 100. The wise teacher said; “he who finds a wife……” you must find the wife and you must score her and she must score you too and if the results be appealing, Goodluck to you!

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